Simon Barnes Author and Journalist

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Simon Barnes
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Death on Earth

29 November 2018 by Simon Barnes 4 Comments

David Attenborough has been accused of betraying wildlife. So let’s ask his major critic to remake the greatest of all television programmes…   Death on Earth A Natural History by George Monbiot Episode 1 GEORGE: I am now standing at the heart of the Ordovician extinction – and even here, it is ghastly. All around… [Read More]

Posted in Wildblog

All one! All one! The crowned cranes are back…

28 November 2018 by Simon Barnes 3 Comments

Sacred Combe Safari III Day 8 It’s at this stage of the trip that I get all elegiac. Or if you prefer, soppy. It’s the last full day. In my little hut at Crocodile Camp I felt as if I would be staying in the heart of the Valley forever; now we were back at… [Read More]

Posted in Wildblog

Another day of wild excess in the Luangwa Valley…

12 November 2018 by Simon Barnes 1 Comment

Sacred Combe Safari III Day 7 There are some days when the Valley goes mad. Chucks everything at you all at once, no thought of saving something up for a nice surprise later on. All at once, crossing the wooded savannahs of the Luangwa Valley was like crossing Liverpool Street Station during the rush hour…. [Read More]

Posted in Wildblog

How I inveigled this really nice bird into my bathroom…

5 November 2018 by Simon Barnes 4 Comments

Sacred Combe Safari III Day 6 How I love my hut. On these trips I get to spend four nights in the same small hut out in the middle of the Luangwa Valley in Zambia and it’s never long before I feel a sense of ownership. True, it offers frail protection from the bush, and… [Read More]

Posted in Wildblog

1 November 2018 by Simon Barnes 2 Comments

Sacred Combe Safari III What the hell day is it today? There are moments on the Sacred Combe Safaris when even the most harassed and pressured of us becomes time-rich. Sometimes these periods are close to being the best part of the trip: idle hours in a hut which has no luxury but its location:… [Read More]

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Posted in Wildblog

Drinks all round – a thousand seriously big ones…

29 October 2018 by Simon Barnes 2 Comments

Sacred Combe Safari III Day 5 We have all heard a good deal about the loss of biodiversity: but as I keep saying, we are also and crucially losing bioabundance. And though a good sighting of some rare and lovely thing does our hearts good, a glorious sight of biological plenty has the same profound… [Read More]

Posted in Wildblog

Unexpected guests drop in for drinks in the Luangwa Valley…

26 October 2018 by Simon Barnes 4 Comments

Sacred Combe Safari III Day 4 And now we walk. We won’t see a vehicle for the next five days.  Walking – walking towards camp — we stopped for tea. As we did so, three elephants, two females and a young male, walked towards us. So we shifted ground and started again. Tea tastes better… [Read More]

Posted in Wildblog

I have a tail to tell about the Luangwa Valley…

22 October 2018 by Simon Barnes 2 Comments

Sacred Combe Safari III Day 3 There are moments very dear to the professional safari guide, occasions that showcase both knowledge and skill in the same dramatic moment: so that it seems that the guide himself had personally called the lovely beast into being. Moffat Mwanza was about to have just such a moment as… [Read More]

Posted in Wildblog

Pushing on doggedly as far as the Luangwa River…

19 October 2018 by Simon Barnes 2 Comments

Sacred Combe Safari III Day 2 They arrived in darkness and dined in darkness, the sounds of the bush all around them, but no one had any idea what the damn place actually looked like. They were weary after 24 hours of aeroplanes followed by a two hour drive, and most of that in the… [Read More]

Posted in Myblog

And now for something thrilling about metatarsals…

17 October 2018 by Simon Barnes 3 Comments

Sacred Combe Safari III Day 1 Two rivers have flown through my adult life: the Liffey and the Luangwa. I mostly know the Liffey from obsessive rereading of Ulysses; I know the Luangwa from my obsessive need to return to the Luangwa Valley. If a book or a place is deep enough and rich enough… [Read More]

Posted in Wildblog

How I spent my siesta in the Luangwa Valley with a couple of scrubbers…

15 October 2018 by Simon Barnes 4 Comments

Sacred Combe Safari III Day -1 I had arrived in the Luangwa Valley in Zambia the previous evening, and dined with my old friends Jess and Ade at Flatdogs Camp in great happiness. The following morning, I went into the park with a guide called Byron and had a fine morning: getting my eye to… [Read More]

Posted in Wildblog

Why the margay has the finest paws in the forest

4 September 2018 by Simon Barnes 2 Comments

The cat stuck up a tree is an archetype of suburban life – usually accompanied, at least in cartoons and our imagination, by the entire local fire brigade. Idiot cat! Why don’t you come down the way you got up? The cat is entitled to answer: “Because I’m not a margay!” “What’s that got to… [Read More]

Posted in Wildblog

Modesty Blaise and the hummingbird that hides in plain sight

30 July 2018 by Simon Barnes 3 Comments

Years ago I interviewed the great thriller writer Peter O’Donnell, creator of the immortal Modesty Blaise. I asked him about Nanny Prendergast — one of his better villains – she’s in The Xanadu Talisman, read it for yourself – and asked: “Where the hell did that idea come from?” Laughing, shaking his head in helpless… [Read More]

Posted in Wildblog

Some thoughts about dragons and why we need them

27 July 2018 by Simon Barnes 1 Comment

Here be dragons. Did anyone ever actually write that on a map in all seriousness? If they didn’t, it’s an idea we needed to invent, because the phrase goes so deep with us. We love the idea of a place so remote and so dangerous that real dragons, breathing fire and sleeping on hoards of… [Read More]

Posted in Wildblog

BARNES’S BESTIARY: GEOFFROY’S CAT

1 May 2018 by Simon Barnes 2 Comments

I’ve just started this blog for that fine organisation the World Land Trust. I’m now in my second term as a council member, and have visited many of their projects – and seen some fantastic beasts while I’ve been doing it. Not this one alas, but here is beast number 1 – Geoffroy’s Cat.  There’s… [Read More]

Posted in Wildblog

Love is all you need, though a nice drink helps. On the martsh with Eddie…

17 February 2018 by Simon Barnes 5 Comments

#ShowTheLove with @TheCCoalition www.rspb.org.uk/showthelove My mother had a ritual saying when given glass of whisky on a cold evening: “I can feel it doing me good.” That’s true of nature as well. Nature does us good. Access to nature allows us to live longer and happier lives. There’s any amount of research and many thousands… [Read More]

Posted in Wildblog

Two leopards with only seven feet between them: paws for thought in the bush

6 December 2017 by Simon Barnes 7 Comments

Close observers of this space will have noticed that I haven’t finished my trip yet. I suppose it’s because I can’t bear to leave. In strict fact I’ve been home for a couple of months, but it seems I’ve been avoiding the task of writing my final blog from the Luangwa Valley. But I must… [Read More]

Posted in Wildblog

The highly movious nature of Zambian widldife

8 November 2017 by Simon Barnes 4 Comments

Pterodactyl! You call out the names of birds as you see them and identify them; it’s a kind of politeness. Sometimes they look, sometimes they don’t. This time I certainly had the attention of my audience. They turned their eyes skywards to catch sight of the two monsters that flew overhead and no one contradicted… [Read More]

Posted in Wildblog

Surprised by joy: that, and the fact that elephants are really quite big

7 November 2017 by Simon Barnes 6 Comments

I’m not blasé, of course I’m not blasé, but at the same time, it’s not my dewy-eyed first time. I’ve been in the Luangwa Valley many times in the last quarter-century and my love of the place is about familiarity, not arrival-shock. I don’t go weak at the knees every time I see an elephant…. [Read More]

Posted in Wildblog

How to have fun in bed in the Luangwa Valley

2 November 2017 by Simon Barnes 4 Comments

Like marriage, the Luangwa Valley isn’t all about bed, but that doesn’t mean bed doesn’t matter. First night out in Chokoko, a bush-camp set in a bend of the sand river of the same name. A whisky at the camp fire and early to bed, but not alone. I took with me the African night…. [Read More]

Posted in Wildblog

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